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盘点非常规父母的另类育儿经

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发表于 2013-12-8 08:13:41 |显示全部楼层
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在常规父母的印象中,偏心、在孩子面前吵架、让孩子看电视等这些做法是不合格的。其实,有时候有些另类育儿理念却更适合孩子成长。这个世界变化太快,让我们一起来见识见识那些有点另类的育儿经吧,相信你也会忍不住去尝试做个非常规父母。

  另类一:“忽视”孩子
  对于现代忙碌的家长来说,能多和孩子在一起度过一些时光是一件奢侈的事情。的确,多与孩子沟通,是加强与孩子感情沟通的纽带,增加他们的安全感和信赖感。但是也有例外,当孩子粗鲁、无礼时,你必须学会忽视他、冷淡他,明白地告诉他:如果你用这种腔调来跟我说话,我是不会理你的。直到你能够礼貌地和我说话,我才会有兴趣听听你在讲什么。在以下的情形里,你都可以忽视孩子,直接对他说我现在不想听你讲
  1.插话。你必须等轮到你说时再说话。因为我正和你爸爸在谈重要的事情,你随便插话不但打断了我们表达自己意见的思路,也是对我们正在说的话不认真、不尊重的表现。
  2.发牢骚。我的耳朵听不见牢骚,只有礼貌的话,我才能听得见。
  3.说伤人的话。这些话太伤人了,我是不会回应这些话的。
  4.说风凉话。你说的都是风凉话,我更愿意听你讲一些关爱别人帮助他人的话。
  另类二:在孩子面前吵架
  不要诧异,这里提倡的吵架不是大吵大闹,而是在孩子们面前理智而平静地吵架。因为你的孩子,无论是学龄前的孩子还是少年,都不可避免地会和别人吵架,所以不妨现身说法,让他们学会如何平静地、互相尊重地来处理不同意见和解决争执。在孩子们面前吵架一定要慎重,谨记以下几点:
  1.在争吵之前深呼吸,放松和保持冷静。无论你和丈夫有多大的意见分歧或是不满意对方,都一定要做到不大喊大叫。
  2.一定要坚持自己的意见。我不满意的地方是……”“问题出在……”这些字眼会教会孩子用一种很礼貌的方式来坚持自己的主张。
  3.在争执的时候尽量用第一人称。双方都表达自己的看法或解释,而不是用责备的第二人称你总是……”“你从来……”“你一直……”。试着这样表达:我很生气,是因为我爽约了,没去和朋友一起看电影。我本以为你可以回来帮我带孩子的。你老公也可以这样为自己辩解:我不高兴是因为我根本就不知道你有看电影的计划。
  4.最后,要找到双方都满意的解决方法。如果之前你们一直都采用这种礼貌的方法来吵架的话,那么寻找一个好的解决方案也会相对容易。
  另类三使用命令语气
  因为我让你这样做。对孩子们说这样的话好像显得特别简单粗暴,因为父母总是习惯向孩子解释对孩子所作的要求和决定。其实,简单的命令对孩子会更有效果。
  1.直接用一个词发布命令。用一个词来吩咐任务,更能被孩子们理解。
  2.暗示。有时候一些手势更有无声胜有声的境界,能被孩子很好地理解。
  
 3.简洁有力的命令。一个5秒的命令比一个长达15分钟的命令更有效。
  4.留小纸条。对小一点的孩子,你可以画画,对于大一点的孩子,你可以直接留字条。
  另类四:让孩子看电视
  看电视?不行,我可不能让我家孩子粘在电视机的屏幕前——许多家长会这么想。然而,电视并非一无是处,它在教育孩子方面有着不可替代的作用。你完全可以打破传统,放心地让孩子看电视,当然你要拿着遥控器,并要加以引导。看看专家们的建议吧:
  1.选择一些可以反映个人或家庭价值的节目。这些节目中的角色可以成为一个教育者,替代你向孩子展示一些你认为有必要让孩子拥有的良好习惯和特征,如诚实和尊重等。
  2.尽可能地陪孩子看电视。陪孩子一起看电视,不但有利于增进你和孩子的感情,还可以让你有机会引导孩子学会电视节目中所体现出来的优良品德和良好经验。
  3.讨论你们所看到的镜头或场景。比如,在你看电视的时候,不时地引导孩子说:你看,明明本来是要放弃的,但他坚持住了,这就是毅力。或者,你看到没,海虹多有礼貌,她在进入哥哥的房间前,没有直接闯入,而是先敲门。另外,电视剧还可以成为你了解孩子生活并与他沟通的一座桥梁。
  4.找出电视节目中的一些矛盾向孩子提问。这样可以促进孩子思考,学会如何解决生活中可能出现的问题。比如:你认为片中的小猪做得对吗?孩子回答之前的思考,将帮助他学会明辨是非。
  其实许多的家长都有自己的一套另类教育。这些另类教子方法只是个案,他们的探索也还不很成熟和完善。但是,这些思考和探索本身,就是对教育体制教育方法改革的吃螃蟹,摸石头。不得不佩服那些敢于PK现行教育的家庭,他们用行动对中国应试制度及现行教育体制提出抗议,引起民众的关注。

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